Depression
Simple post this time… but says a lot about me….
WARNING: EMOTIONAL QUOTES FOLLOWING THIS MESSAGE. IF YOU DO NOT WANT TO BE NEGATIVELY AFFECTED EMOTIONALLY, PLEASE REFRAIN YOURSELF FROM READING.
Someone asked me before this: Where is your self-esteem?
You are actually more than you think you are.
How come you can’t be proud of yourself?
I wonder for a moment. I tried to find an answer. I finally know why…
I was a young boy back then. I was nothing unique or weird about me. But somehow i can’t fit in…. I do not understand why. They picked on me, saying words that hurt, taunting me, pull up pranks that only target on me…
After the bullying period is over, again i tried to join into the social group. It’s hard for me to fit in… as i’m in a so called elite class…. it is "every man on its own", nobody wants to help me in terms of studying, nobody is interested in the things i’m interested in, seems to me noone is interested to talk to me… i ended my high school years with only a handful of true friends with bad memories i tried to forget about it.
Uni life u ask? my friends are fine and dandy… except they seems not to listen to my problems faced…. and prefers to say happy things instead of the real problems…. other than that, academically in uni life is a bitch…
The question now is: Am I really happy before? Are the smiles and laughter of my face a mere facade of my depressed persona?
Well then…. this stuff is finally off the chest, look forward to have more optimistic posts later!
